Annie’s IPO Followed by Bernie’s Wedding

Wedding bells were ringing in an undisclosed Northern California location as famed product icons Bernie the Rabbit and Hello Kitty wed. Bernie, the famous spokes model for Annie’s Homegrown, and Kitty famed product icon for San Rio are honeymooning at an undisclosed location.
Famed muppet Miss Piggy was reportedly making drunken threats before the couple departed in a small sports car, donated by FAO Schwarz.The service was co-led by an Episcopal Priest and a Buddhist Monk included a traditional tea ceremony, with Numi Dragonwell Green Tea. According to Bernie’s agent, “The ceremony was something both Bernie and Kitty spent months creating.”As the bride and groom left a chapel in the field outside of Helena, California, guests threw macaroni without cheese at the pair. Despite the huge success of Annie’s recent IPO, the ceremony was understated.As the bride and groom left a chapel in a field outside of Helena, California, guests threw macaroni without cheese at the pair.

At the conclusion of the reception, Miss Piggy, Bernie’s long-time ex-lover, reportedly threatened to “kill that big-eared bastard,” adding, “I told him to take that job with Annie’s when they were nothing. If it wasn’t for me he’d still be working magic shows.”

While Miss Piggy and her agent refused comment, friends of the porcine star stated that she was happy as a pig in a new TV series, claiming that reports of her rage were overblown and the result of some off the cuff comments fueled by too much champagne and a lactose intolerance reaction caused by eating too much cheddar.

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