John Wayne Airport to Be Renamed After Soap Pioneer Dr. Bronner

In a surprise move, the Orange County Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to rename the John Wayne Airport after spiritualist and soap maker, Dr. Emmanuel Bronner.

Citing the soap maker’s longstanding commitment to the tingle factor, as well as his uncannily irresistible and indecipherable philosophical musings, the Board unveiled a statue of the 3rd generation soap maker today.  Several lawmakers also cited the iconic peppermint soap’s ‘tingle factor’ as another reason for the honor. 

Currently, the Board is looking at proposals from various essential oil manufacturers regarding the installation of peppermint oil diffusers throughout the facility. At issue is whether the stimulating effect of the oil would adversely impact traveler’s ability to remain calm in the face of increasing delays.

Members of the John Wayne family were unavailable for comment.

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