Category Humor

Green Energy News-NYC and Garbanzo Bean Growers Announce Plan to Fuel Taxis on New FalafelFuel

  In a press conference at New York’s City Hall, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Taxi & Limousine Commissioner Matthew W. Daus and Norharvest Bean Growers Association Norbert Johannson unveiled a plan to fuel all taxicabs and car service vehicles in the city on a new bio-fuel made from garbanzo beans.“For too long chick peas have been […]

John Wayne Airport to Be Renamed After Soap Pioneer Dr. Bronner

In a surprise move, the Orange County Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to rename the John Wayne Airport after spiritualist and soap maker, Dr. Emmanuel Bronner. Citing the soap maker’s longstanding commitment to the tingle factor, as well as his uncannily irresistible and indecipherable philosophical musings, the Board unveiled a statue of the 3rd generation […]

Annie’s IPO Followed by Bernie’s Wedding

Wedding bells were ringing in an undisclosed Northern California location as famed product icons Bernie the Rabbit and Hello Kitty wed. Bernie, the famous spokes model for Annie’s Homegrown, and Kitty famed product icon for San Rio are honeymooning at an undisclosed location. Famed muppet Miss Piggy was reportedly making drunken threats before the couple […]

Green Pampers

NBN’s first job in the natural foods business was working at a small store in Westport, Connecticut called The Fountain of Youth.  The name wasn’t just metaphorical.  There was actually a small fountain near the front of the store. I believed it slightly resembled a miniature version of the Elfin village from Lord of the […]

Streisand’s I’ll Be Home For Ramadan CD to be Promoted by Near East Foods

Quaker Foods Near East brand announced today that the company would be offering free downloads of Barbra Streisand’s soon to be released I’ll Be Home For Ramadan CD.  The announcement came just one week after the noted Semitic Songstress unveiled her new effort. According to the press release Streisand hopes to facilitate a new dialogue […]

Conference Board Announces New Consumer Shoplifting Index

The Conference Board, best known for its Consumer Confidence Index announced today that in response to “increasingly recession panicked soccer Moms, meth heads, bonus-less Wall Street traders and nearly everybody f-ing else” it would begin tracking consumer shoplifting habits. Unlike the Board’s well established Consumer Confidence Index which utilizes a household panel of 5,000 Americans, […]